false alarm. still invincible.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
