I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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