I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
