Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
