His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize