Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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