sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
