I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
