i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
