I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
