You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
