We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
