Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
