I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
