How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
