...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
