Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
