I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
