I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
