Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
