gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
