Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
