I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
