Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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