Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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