i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
