I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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