Have you finally orgasmed yet?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
