i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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