sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Randomize
