My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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