I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
