Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
