There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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