This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Farmville is her only friend.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
