Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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