He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
