Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
don't judge my taste in strippers
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
