I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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