Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
