halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
sarcasm needs its own font
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
