So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
