I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
