It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
