i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
