i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Everything about him screamed your future.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
