The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
