its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize