I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
