my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
