i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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