Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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