yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
