There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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