You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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