The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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