My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
