I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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