there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
