Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
as a side note pls kill me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
