Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
