that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize