So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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