Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
