Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
