I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
