I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
