he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
