I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
