Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
