Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
