I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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